The Beginning

First, a disclosure. The following is not composed by me but by my dear son and daughter in law. They read this original verses to us at the gender reveal party yesterday and I am recording it here for posterity.

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To the dearest baby, our little sweet pea

Here’s a short story of how you came to be

Before you were a baby, you were first just an idea –

a concept that wasn’t even on our minds at the start of the year

 

But over months, N found herself yearning to spend

More time with the young-ones, with E and R, for days on end

One day we finally thought, as we were buried in toys,

Maybe it’s time to have our own little bundle of joy

 

J was a big believer in vitamins, supplements and pills

He thought they could make you Invincible! Powerful! and – On sale? What a steal!

He grabbed every pre-natal bottle he could possibly find

And wiped out the shelves in his favourite store, LAC nutrition for life

 

So we took the pills and patiently waited

But the journey looked unpromising, and frankly, quite complicated

N bled for days and days, which was a little too long

So we went to the Doctor to find out what possibly went wrong

 

The doctor said not to worry, and told us to chill

But from now on, don’t take any more funky TCM pills

J was aghast, seized with betrayal and horror

The supplements had failed him!! He shoved them deep in a drawer

  

N didn’t have much hope, after all, it was their first try

What are the chances we would be THAT lucky, she said with a sigh

But the little bean trudged along and soon it was one month, then two,

Then the doctor did a scan and said, wait, I see blood in the womb

 

Call off the Iceland trip! The doctor cautioned with alarm

N and J were torn, they didn’t want to cause the baby any harm

But perhaps some fresh air was just what they needed

And with the company of good friends, off to Iceland they yeeted

 

Armed with a Motorhome with the latest best features

Yet N had to shower with no hot water heater

She braved biting cold winds and rocky mountain roads

The baby rattled along in her tummy, well and safely stowed.

 

Just as anxiety ran high and hope ran low

One fine morning we went on a whale-watching tour

The boat rocked violently back and forth, left and right,

Yet hours later, there was still nothing in sight

 

Hang on, said the operator, Over there on the right!

Something’s moving, see how it glistens under the light!

Breaking from the surface, there they were, gliding across the waves

Two majestic creatures. The boat went silent, we were amazed.

 

That’s two blue whales together! How incredibly rare!

For blue whales are known to be solitary creatures, unless it’s a mother-and-calf pair

I’ve never seen this before in my many years,

Gushed the tour operator, who was almost moved to tears

Did you know, that in the 8 billion people in the whole wide world

Less than 1% would have seen a big blue whale?

And to see a mother and calf together, that’s even rarer still

The chances are 0.005%, it’s almost unreal!

 

N thought about a quote she had recently learned

Of how the world is made up of mothers and all of their children

And while the mama-to-be was overcome with emotion

The father was somewhere, vomiting into the ocean

 

I think what we’re trying to say is, to our little one,

We took this as a sign from God that you were meant to come

Into our world, to live a life of great happiness and some sorrows

Of laughter and tears, but most importantly, a hope for tomorrow

 

And that brings all of us here, gathered together

To find out the gender, not that it matters

In the grand scheme of things, you are already loved by so many

We hope enjoy this little life of both the mundane and the extraordinary

 

 

 

no one listens anymore

12 years and 8 months ago, I started blogging and my 2nd post ever was after overhearing my parents talking. They were in their early 70s then and though they are always bickering, there was clearly some communication going on, even in mundane moments like the one I witnessed.

It went like this ...

Love birds

He: what are you buying?

She: some flowers for the festive occasion

He: what colour did you get?

She: red, it's the right colour for the festivity

He: i like yellow. We should get yellow.

She: ok, besides the florist gave us a good deal... 25pct cheaper than the last buyer

He: then we should really go get the flowers now

She: yes, yes, let's go.

Sounds inane? Maybe... But spending a day with my parents and overhearing their conversations on the above, on food, on gardening, and countless other everyday topics, I am warmly surprised on how much conversing there is and though these are on small matters, but they represent interaction and more importantly alignment. 

It's clearly love. I love them too!

 ...

As they got older, each had become even more set in their ways; holding on to their own opinion so firmly that they no longer listen, to each other nor to others. 

This time back with them, and 270 posts later, it felt more real than ever. They still care for each other but only in their own ways and that is not necessarily in the way the other needs. And their own way is formed by their own upbringing and education which is as far apart as US and China are today. 

I cannot help but feel sad that the end of the road becomes this instead of the garden mom insisted on taking dad to although he would rather not leave the house. She loves flowers and exercising and he clearly does not.

I sometimes make a trip to my hometown to see them whenever I am in the capital for work. It was always the best part of the business trip. Concluding with a visit to my beloved parents. This teip however, it was rhe other way around. The hometown was a more stressful place to visit. 

I talked a lot with mom as she still has her mental acuity. She has to be the adult in this relationship and its the adult that is capable of making the change, initiating the move and addressing the friction. But I guess stronger though her faculties are, she is also stuck in her ways. 

😔 

to be a better place

The headlines in world news today dont make for cheerful reading: El Nino has warmed up the Pacific Ocean to highest levels in decades, and out west, Europe has recorded its hottest June-July on record and Canada's wildfires are forcing thousands to flee their homes.

Then a 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Colombia comes shortly after a similar seismic shake in Japan last month and in Venezuela the month before. Its as if mother earth is protesting.

Its not all about nature's wrath. Man-made catastrophes like the Russia-Ukraine war is well past 50months and counting and the Israel/US-Iran war looks to also be similarly unresolvable. From military to money, the news are equally frightening. FIFA's chief Infantino has lost the confidence of confederation members over his proposal to sell the commercial aspects of footballing.

Given my involvement on these topics, professionally speaking, its not unexpected that I am uneasy and want to do something about it. Nowadays though, there is both a sense of urgency as well as optimism. 

Time is of the essence insofar as climate change actions are concerned. We need to act now... because we are already late. On a more personal bote though, I need to act because there is going to be a new generation to care for and as far as I can, I'd like to leave behind a better world for my grandchild (beyond my wonderful self-propelled kids).

Speaking of my kids, M just hosted her first meals in her own place last weekend. Over the long national day weekend, she got her old friends over for lunch and then D&I joined her & J for dinner. Later in the evening J&N came over to collect some soups D had prepared for them and I was happy to see a growing bump on N. 

self propelled kids! aces!

It’s amusing how the story of our family can almost be told through three simple acronyms, as far as our vehicular registrations go. 

When D&I were growing up, life was simple and getting around meant taking SBS — Singapore Bus Services. Buses weren’t just transport; they were part of everyday life, carrying us to school, work, and everywhere in between.

Then came J and M. For this generation, the transport system evolved into SDS — the Singapore D Service. Mum became the chauffeur, happily making countless morning runs, afternoon pick-ups, weekend activities, and late-night collections. Every journey was another conversation, another laugh, another memory made together.

Now they’ve both grown up and are living your own independent lives. The family transport system has entered its latest chapter: SPK. The progress speaks for itself: self-powered kids who have become adults, making their own journeys, charting their own destinations, and building lives of their own.

Looking back, it’s remarkable how those three acronyms capture the passage of time—from being passengers on public buses, to being passengers in our family car, to becoming drivers of your own futures. And while the mode of transport has changed with each generation, one thing never has: wherever life takes us, we’re always travelling the same journey as a family.

PS: the first two cars were our daily drivers in Malaysia and it was in the Proton Wira that D first learnt to drive. We then began to love bigger SUVs beginning with the reconditioned Honda CRV that sported a nice (lucky) 7318 number. We then moved to Singapore with the Opel Zafira, an MPV to accommodate our full sized nuclear family then and thereafter went back to SUVs, first a rebadged Harrier to the RX300, then a proper Lexus 400h. We then went properly into the grandmaster of the 4×4 offroad vehicle, the Land Rover. First the Discovery (which many contractors admired), then the Ocean 11 Range Rover Sport (in Santorini Black, what else!). All these SUVs bore the same SDS number. And to mark our new era of self-propelled kids, we now have a Land Rover Defender in pangea green (of course) which is a plug in hybrid EV to boot with the SPK acronyms.

a new start

You all know my passion for chronicling. I do so to understand our history. But not so much to live in the past as to provide a rock solid foundation to enable proper enjoyment of the present moment and to propel all of you into the future.

Like the movie we watched together yesterday, even though there is no spring season in Singapore, you will always represent new growth in my heart.

That hesitant figure, eddying away

Like a winged seed loosened from its parent stem,

Has something I never quite grasp to convey

About nature’s give-and-take — the small, the scorching

Ordeals which fire one’s irresolute clay.

I have had worse partings, but none that so

Gnaws at my mind still. Perhaps it is roughly

Saying what God alone could perfectly show —

How selfhood begins with a walking away,

And love is proved in the letting go.

These words of Cecil Day Lewis from his poem Walking Away resonated in my soul. Yes, they are walking away because they're able to. And their direction is up and onwards. What more joy can a parent expect. 

My heart is full. My soul is sated. I am grateful. 

a perfect day

Meg and I watched this Japanese art house movie Perfect Days at the Projector. I did reflect on how many of such days we get. Thankfully they do come around occasionally and today is just such a day. 

I was grateful to have the luxury of waking up slowly, no alarms... just to the rising sun. Mom was up earlier as always and had already given thanks in church at mass. Josh and Nat were coming over for lunch with the family. Julian, as well, as he got onto the very last seat of the flight and on the way to Singapore.

Lunch was perfect, made with loving hands and fresh ingredients, not to mention a nice bottle of 7 year old Chardonnay. Nat didn’t partake of any and for the best reason in the world! 

The happy news was announced in the most surprising of way. I am usually quite quick but God delayed my reaction so you can all enjoy the delight in slow-motion! 

The meal was leisurely as there were no rush or stress and when it concluded, Meg and I went for a nice walk to further enjoy the moment together. 

I continued my amble while Meg went to pick up Julian and we all settled back home for more family meal time, this time on mom’s famous one pot soup, washed down with Umamu sparkling wine.

As the midnight hour approaches, I head to bed with a head dizzy with hope, a heart that’s full of love, a soul that is oh so grateful.

Thank you all for making this such a special day. A perfect day.

Tournament Thoughts

When the knockout round draws were decided, I had hoped for a Europe vs South American final. And my wish (as did many fans all over the world) came true when the champions of Europe will play the champions of South America. But I am getting ahead of myself, so let me start at the beginning.

At that time, no European team had yet beaten a South American one and the smart money was on the latter but these teams that play with teamwork besides talents got better and bested the South Americans along the way (notably Brazil and Colombia - two traditional powerhouses).

Indeed, this has been an unpredictable and entertaining world cup, with goals galore (the most ever, in absolute and on a per game basis) with the penultimate match serving up the best show!

Interestingly, or perhaps consequently, goalkeepers (and not just the strikers) entertained us further with heroics! And the fairy tales come no better than that of Cape Verde and Vozinha's. 

The half time entertainment, though,  was an own goal (except for Shakira who was the South American that had better moves than the entire Argentina team in the final).

On the other hand, some goals should have stood, Croatia's equaliser vs Portugal and Egypt's potential winner against Argentina being two of the more egregious calls.

As usual, there are good goals, especially given the impervious forms that Mbappe, Messi and Haaland were in as the tournament began.

Speaking of which, they should make a new award for fan participation for the Norwegian row, following in the spirit of the Iceland clap and the Mexican wave.

With all games played, we wave goodbye to this tournament in the most contrasting of fashion: France and England put up an exhibition match with ten goals, taking the goal count well above 300 with Saka scoring a hattrick. 

Mbappe clinched the Golden Boot (and becoming the Word Cup's biggest scorer of all time in the process) and Bellingham got onto the podium too, fittingly, for he played like a lion.

The one team that fell off the pole position (and further still in esteem) must be Argentina, goat notwithstanding. 

If Tuchel was blamed for defensive substitution in the semifinals when attacking substitutes have won so many games with late goals, then Argentina's utterly defensive play for well over 100mins simply didn't make sense...

... until one realises that its their opponent that made all the sense. Spain was improving throughout the tournament and by the time they beat France, Scaloni had to desperately come up with a new game plan including holding on for dear life until penalties and Dibu theatrics.

Until then, their playbook included the usual thuggery, feigned injuries and pressurising, even snitching to the referee but nothing worked. 

Spain (and football) won. 

If the bronze medal match showed fans what football could be, three moments post the final exposed what it should not be:  post match bust ups, unsporting gesture of turning their backs and an irrelevant vainglorious figure standing next to the winning squad all show how easily this beautiful game can descend into ignominy.

Then there is the GOAT debate. At this tournament, it was clear Messi was ascendant but at the end of the day, he's human after all. And not beyond fouling and snitching to win as well.

Ultimately, beyond our celebration of sports (and other) celebrities, the truest joy should come from beyond the mortals, to the divine. It is God we thank.