“Mother does know
where love has gone!”, I paraphrase Tony Hadley as he croons to Gary Kemp’s
guitar work on their beautiful ballad Through The Barricades.
Spandau Ballet’s
Collection is my background music as I fly to London, my third intercontinental
flight in as many weeks (having been to New York then Davos the weeks before).
Life of an executive with a global responsibility. It’s a role I take seriously
as I can make a difference to the success of my team and by extension their
clients and by extension the lives of millions of citizens their clients govern
over.
There is another role
that I take seriously. That of being a father.
Both J and M are going
through perhaps one of the most game-changing periods of their lives. Round
about their ages, D & I fell in love and the rest, as the saying goes, is
history. One of these days, I will post the messages I left anonymously on her
mailbox to get her to like me, without her ever seeing or knowing me.
In the matter of love,
both of them are figuring out in their own ways the right formula to this BGR
thing. Their mom knows best but this is one thing they have to do on their own.
On this mid-day flight,
the best I can do is to watch movies on board. I picked another Julianne Moore
movie. She must be my acting muse for after watching her movies, I feel
inspired to write. This time it was not even a serious movie but a bit of a
rom-com. Maggie’s Plan is about Maggie who decided not to let Destiny govern
her destiny. The plot is about women (young and old) having mastery over their
fates.
Photo Credit: IMP Awards
M is right now trying
to sense what her relationship destiny is. She knows what she wants. Nothing
less than a funny guy, a confident one, a sensitive one, a clever one, a
successful one, a rich one and one who loves her and one she loves. Reminds me
of the joke about the husband supermarket: no woman has ever checked out
anything.
During a short car
ride, I tried to engage her in conversation. I’ve been hoping to do this for a
while now. But with her and especially with these things, the moment has to be
right. And the right moment is few and far between. So, unless one spends
quantity time, it’s hard to get the quality time. In my case, I snatch every
second I get. So, in the short ride, I ventured an opinion. One I borrowed from
another song. Not Through The Barricades but from The Rose. It’s all about
taking chances. A heart that never takes the chance will never learn to dance.
Sure, the first dances will not be right. In fact, both D and I didn’t get our
first dances to last.
J, being a guy,
naturally has a different perspective. I haven’t got a chance to talk to him.
With him in the US, car rides (short or long) are impossible. He has to figure
this on his own. I am not worried because he has taken chances before and
hopefully has improved on his dance and know which dance partner matches his
rhythm.
In my case, my dance
partner of a lifetime is truly the woman behind the man. She is more than a loving
wife. She is a mother extra ordinaire. She manages their talents. Turns them
into assets. She also manages our assets. And grows it, from astute investments
especially in real estate. She is real. She is grounded, so grounded she
changes light bulbs without getting shocked! While I fly around J
No man needs a trophy
wife. Though D could be one (she is certainly pretty enough), she is too much
of a real human success to be something on a shelf. J will find himself a real
partner.
And so will M. It may
take a few tries but it will happen. It is more than Maggie’s Plan. It will be
M’s Plan!
Every time I step into
her room, I hear music. She sings in the shower. And recently, initiated by
Daniel Purnomo and Alexandra Hsieh at the Courtyard @ National Gallery, she
even sings in public with that unique (Cai Qin-esque voice of hers). Music is
the soundtrack to her life as it has been mine.
So as I write this
flying at 800kmh, right above Kabul, Afghanistan, halfway on my way to London,
at 34000 feet, I too am listening to music. The song playing right now is Pink
Floyd’s Another Brick In The Wall. This anthem of post hippie angst raged
against big Government. It was kind of my theme until I realized that like it
or not government institutions remain key stakeholders in shaping the future.
In fact, that’s why I work so hard ensuring they do the right things.
Beyond that, the other
really important stakeholder are the citizens themselves. I am fortunate to be
living in an era of Asia Rising and even more honoured to be able to play a not
inconsequential role in its rise. The real story though is about Asians Rising.
M wrote a top graded
essay about her grandfather who, from a street urchin got saved by a Christian
missionary, became an educator (first as a teacher, then and education
entrepreneur) and raised a family of kids who all advanced in their stations of
life beyond him. It’s about Asians rising. That’s how society progress. Societies
progress because we plant trees whose shades we will not sit under. We need to
figure out how to really lift (not molly coddle) the human spirit and get them
to soar.
Back to song that I
heard as I started this entry “Father made my history”, Spandau Ballet sang. My
father and especially my mother shaped me and consequentially my history. D
& I are too shaping our kids in deed and in words so that their histories
will be even better than ours.
Much still depends on
them. The choices are up to them. Their destinies their own.
