How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard

 The last half year is one of the best periods of my life.

·       Professionally, I was totally consumed by up to 18 hours/day of work as governments all over the world turned to us for help and I had to deal with many overworked colleagues along the way, some of whom manifested their stress poorly

·      Politically, my home country’s back door government has descended further into ever more nefarious dealings while the country slides ever backwards socio-economically

·       Socially, it’s depressing, especially not being able to meet friends for the first few months and even now, I am still not able to meet clients and colleagues at scale

·       Spiritually, the fact that churches remain a restricted gathering place meant I haven’t stepped into one physically throughout this period, though the online masses and informative podcasts helpe

Y   Yet, despite all of these challenges, this has been a most wonderful period for me. And that is saying something, as I have now lived through more than a hundred half-year periods. So, what makes this period the top percentile?

Only one thing: being in the presence of my immediate family extensively and over meals and family activities, intensively. So, despite all my work and social difficulties, emotionally, this is my happiest time. I penned 8 blogs in this period, beginning with one in April about parenting styles and concluding earlier this month on being able to run together with my children, achilles tendonitis notwithstanding. I guess you already know the cause of my joy; this is the happiest moment because my family is together

I wish we could have spent more time together, but alas not every single minute of the day was spent together, and even when we are together, it’s honest to say that not all the minutes there were pleasant. As usual, being all well-educated and even more well-opinionated people, there are differences in opinions on just about everything: from car sharing schedule to insurance purchases and scholarship obligations. For me, and I trust for you too, it is often at these times when our opinions are most sharply divided that we find the essence of our love.

 It is when we are almost at the point of hurting each other with our words and thoughts that we realise that we cannot be torn apart. Both sides will find a way to reach out and as we do so, we find that throughout all our differences, there remains always a common core: that we always have the best intentions for each other. How the intentions are translated into action differ, but the intention is always good. That is the essence of our love as a family. We are always wishing and wanting the best for each other.

J left for UK two weeks ago to do his Masters and M just left last night to begin her second year. I miss them so. The words of Winnie the Pooh capture the sentiment so well

Old Upper Thomson Road

Sometimes, urban planners can lack creativity. It is one thing to name a road after the chief engineer who designed it. Quite another to name the road above it as upper. And what really takes it to the next level is to build a new road next to it, re-use the name, and call the original road old. Well, that is where we were at over the weekend: the Old Upper Thomson Road. In its heyday, it was more than just a road, it was also where the Singapore Grand Prix took place. 

credit: timeout.com

For the past 20 years though, it has been our family exercise track; and especially over the last 6 months as we all sought escape from our circuit breaker lockdown at home. Over the weekend, M & J joined me on a circuit I had tried several times before the last few months. We ran from our place and up and down the length of the Old Upper Thomson Road.

It's such a pleasure running with them. The last time all three of us went up and down this road was maybe 10 years ago, with Meg on her bicycle, Josh on his roller blades and me on my pre-achilles tendonitis legs. Josh in front would sandwich Meg in the middle. They were both just gaining confidence on their new modes of transport and I, as the cheerleader-in-chief would urge them on and also, to pick them up when they fell. I must say that I have been more responsible for their scars. It is fair to say that I subscribe (in this case, literally) to the parenting school of hard knocks. I would push M down the slope and her mom would watch in horror of her darling veering off!

The scars have long healed; and J then M have been exceeding me in all sporting activities since then. They are literally "citius, altius, fortius" than me. As they live up to the Olympic creed, the chance for the old bean to do something together with the faster, higher, stronger younglings is a much cherished one.

So, yesterday, in the rain, coached by a well-informed J who kept us on a LSD (long steady distance) pace and led by a beautifully-gaited M (even when the sole of her shoe gave out), we ran together for more than 80minutes covering nearly 12kms up and down this famous road.

The achilles heel is aching all day, but oh-so-sweetly when one thinks of the cause!

For our 3rd act

While most of the world were under some kind of lockdown, D and I opened up two new fronts for us, which hopefully will prove to be the right future-proofed decisions.

Being movie buffs, we both liked the fact that the films were works of studios with a full organisation of producers, screenwriters, actors, stunt workers, prop makers, costume designers and of course directors. So, for no other reason than the word sounded cool and the meaning of it interesting, I had used CP as an ‘entity’, a-la Hollywood, to present works we had created for our significant moments. This is an early example of how CP featured.

 

So far, we have produced no cinematic masterpieces though I must say J & M are two joint works that we continue to be proud of.

At the end of March, we set up CC. Over the years, we have been investing in various assets, including in start-ups, and we have been pondering over how best to hold these: whether in our own personal names or through a private limited company where we can manage these more professionally. D’s decision to move on from her full time job clearly meant she now has more time to attend to our holdings. We hope we have invested wisely to date and so we set up an investment holding and advisory company and we will eventually pool our value-creating assets here. With me already past my golden milestone and D about to do so, we thought we would use this as one of the vehicles for our 3^rd act together. We can then grow this together and also share our experience to others.

At the same time CP first found its way into our lives nearly 30 years ago, a small seed was also planted in my head. Having earned a government scholarship, studied at its national university, found a first job in one of its world class company and about to marry one of its (premier school) citizens, I naturally thought the world of the country. A country not of my birth but one had chose to go to freely to seek a better future. I didn’t think twice on applying for Permanent Residency. It was a no-brainer, as the saying goes. And throughout all that time, it has proven to be a true no-regret move, so much so that I was never faced with the need to take the next step of actually becoming a citizen.

 Four events over the last four years soon changed that.

• ·       First, both J and then M won important scholarships in the country. J with the highest level of Government and M with perhaps its most important world class company (even better than mine). It is clear that their future is here.
• ·       Second, the PR (good as it has been) is actually not permanent and tied to the holder having a job. As I approach my 3rd act where I would be likely self-employed, it makes sense to have greater assurance of permanence in a place where my children will be.
• ·       Third, as we move into our new place, our old house will become a stranded asset as a PR-owned landed property cannot be rented out. So, there is a small economic rationale as well.
• ·       Fourthly, the situation in my own home country is going from bad to worse. The small glimmer of hope in the 2018 General Elections has been snuffed out with back door moves earlier this year by Malay-Muslim lawmakers and the PM-to-be whom I had the chance to advise may not be so.

      So, in July, with D’s help, I applied for citizenship. It would take a couple of years to process and in the meantime I must confess I sometimes get “cold feet”. For all its faults, the home country is a lucky one blessed with abundant natural resources, and these resources are only getting more valuable as humans fail to look after Mother Earth. Moreover, it is a country where if one has the will, a way can always be found! Exacerbating that, the host country post a wake-up call GE, begins to debate issues of looking after the local core in a manner which I felt failed to take into account the very reasons for its success, and the parliamentarians even suggest policies that had dragged my home country downwards.

      I guess I will keep experiencing these vacillations. That said, I have two assurances. First, in the near term, the best outcome for my home country still pales in comparison to a weaker outcome of the host. Secondly, in the longer term, my children will hopefully be in a position to make a difference and keep this country progressing.

      That these two future-proofing decisions are taken now, three months apart, is not a co-incidence. Things happen in tandem. Events lead to a chain reaction that comes back full circle. It is indeed true that D & my (and therefore CP’s) best works are the two younglings.