Yin & Yang

Wikipedia has this to say: In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang (also yin-yang or yin yang, 陰陽 yīnyáng "dark—bright") describes how opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. 

I am no chauvinist and fully believe in the capabilities of women and have in fact stated many times that women are often the more talented. That said, in today's "lean in" world, many misunderstand what this means and if women need to be more like men to make it.

If indeed the world becomes like that, it would be the poorer for it. Men and women complement each other and together are whole, complete. By becoming more like the other, it stands to reason that some elements of yin, or yang, would be lost. 

This fact manifest itself most weekends for me. 

I get to spend some quality time with M ferrying her to and from tuition and conversations always flow easily (unless when she is too tired and naps on the ride). I would ask about something, she would respond, I would add to it. Long juicy exchanges. She is a good listener and a good talker too!

I don't get as much opportunities with J, especially now. So last week, I engineered a special time to meet. A 'Rich Old Auntie' teatime to be precise like so many ROAs I've done with M in the past. But our conversation was tentative, abrupt and in his case his contribution to the dialogue are usually staccato responses. Is he acting the strong, silent type; or is he actually being purposefully disdainful because he has nothing to add to the matter being chatted about (either because he already knows what he knows, or he doesn't care for my thoughts, or both)? In any case if it's disdain then he would be the poorer for it. No one knows everything. One is always on a learning journey and having mentors is one of the greatest treasure in life. Then again, it's the prerogative of youth to chart their own path, for this is how new and wonderful change can happen, to themselves and their world.

He's fast becoming an adult (legally), though with the national service and then university, he's about 'flown the coop' as well as one can. I couldn't spend time in his earlier years. In future, father-son time would be even more scarce. I get it that he's his own man. But hopefully a man who is lucky enough to benefit from the wisdom of others and even more blessed if these giants allow him to stand on their shoulders to see further.

Back to yin-yang duality, I hope M doesn't see the macho strong silent mode as being the archetype for success. She can stay who she is and be happy.

Golden Anniversary

"The Chinese New Year, also called the Spring Festival, has been celebrated for over 4000 years by the Chinese to welcome the new year. This time we are welcoming the fire monkey, reputedly an auspicious sign. Indeed, many Chinese out great store in such beliefs and though some practices have faded, many still observe the custom of spring cleaning, avoiding taboo activities (like breaking things) and of course the deeply meaningful reunion dinner on Chinese New Year eve with the extended family. "

I wrote that to all my staff in Southeast Asia just before we broke for the long weekend to celebrate the lunar new year. It's been one of my singular pleasures as the leader of the system to share thoughts with them in reflective notes or on festive occasions, uplifting messages like this. 

I do like the CNY celebrations. Something about the noise, colour and not to mention food and drinks and of course the money (earned legally though angpows or illegally from relatives and friends at gambling). Speaking of that, I've never been good with that. You know what they say, lucky in love...

CNYs, like other milestone moments (birthdays, Christmases, anniversaries), are perfect for counting one's blessings. In my case, I thank God first and foremost for my family and friends. Whatever we have He has granted. And in a very special way too. They say God doesn't give us what we ask for but what we need (in order to obtain through our own free will what we want). In asking for courage, God would give us obstacles to overcome. In asking for love, God will send us troubled friends to help. 

God has given me some abilities and He has also endowed in me (through my parents) a healthy dose of ambition and impatience so that I put my talents to good use. There's always two sides to anything worth getting. My family are all noted for having a hot temper (a fact recently validated by my aunt S when I paid her a CNY visit in Jakarta last week) but that's just the dark side of wanting desperately to achieve something to a high standard and in a expeditious timeframe. 

So, despite all the drama stemming from our (two sided) flaws, I am truly happy in the knowledge that the family and friends I have are all wonderful. And yesterday, the 7th day of the new lunar year, all of us are said to have grown a year older. And hopefully wiser and most importantly, happier. Each passing year marks a shortening runway to our eventual return to the maker. This fact has often been used to give meaning to our lives. It's been philosophized that "the thought of death has the power to rearrange priorities, returning to the surface the more valuable parts of us which have a tendency to get submerged in everyday struggles."

2016 is also a significant year for my parents. They would be married for 50 years by this December. Since they got hitched in 1966, their branch of the family tree has grown from 2 to 20. A ten-fold increase in 50 years. Now, for all the pursuit of growth (of the assets and profits sort in business), THIS is the more purposeful growth. That the family grows and that each member of the family can lead meaningful happy lives. For that to happen, we need to support each other and to help the other soar, even higher.