Yin & Yang

Wikipedia has this to say: In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang (also yin-yang or yin yang, 陰陽 yīnyáng "dark—bright") describes how opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. 

I am no chauvinist and fully believe in the capabilities of women and have in fact stated many times that women are often the more talented. That said, in today's "lean in" world, many misunderstand what this means and if women need to be more like men to make it.

If indeed the world becomes like that, it would be the poorer for it. Men and women complement each other and together are whole, complete. By becoming more like the other, it stands to reason that some elements of yin, or yang, would be lost. 

This fact manifest itself most weekends for me. 

I get to spend some quality time with M ferrying her to and from tuition and conversations always flow easily (unless when she is too tired and naps on the ride). I would ask about something, she would respond, I would add to it. Long juicy exchanges. She is a good listener and a good talker too!

I don't get as much opportunities with J, especially now. So last week, I engineered a special time to meet. A 'Rich Old Auntie' teatime to be precise like so many ROAs I've done with M in the past. But our conversation was tentative, abrupt and in his case his contribution to the dialogue are usually staccato responses. Is he acting the strong, silent type; or is he actually being purposefully disdainful because he has nothing to add to the matter being chatted about (either because he already knows what he knows, or he doesn't care for my thoughts, or both)? In any case if it's disdain then he would be the poorer for it. No one knows everything. One is always on a learning journey and having mentors is one of the greatest treasure in life. Then again, it's the prerogative of youth to chart their own path, for this is how new and wonderful change can happen, to themselves and their world.

He's fast becoming an adult (legally), though with the national service and then university, he's about 'flown the coop' as well as one can. I couldn't spend time in his earlier years. In future, father-son time would be even more scarce. I get it that he's his own man. But hopefully a man who is lucky enough to benefit from the wisdom of others and even more blessed if these giants allow him to stand on their shoulders to see further.

Back to yin-yang duality, I hope M doesn't see the macho strong silent mode as being the archetype for success. She can stay who she is and be happy.