Parental Guidance

Mark Twain had said the two most important days in your life is when you are born and when you find out why.

I've written before our how good it is to find one's purpose. To live for something greater than oneself and to leave behind a better place. We often think about purpose as a future-oriented project, and hence something of greater value for the young. And what joy if one discovers the purpose at a younger age, like a priest who found his calling early.

Truth is, most of us take awhile. We need to understand this complex world we live on: to that every positive element has a dark seed, and conversely every bad outcome can have positive repercussion. We learn this best through experience, especially our own. So it stands to reason that it's our seniors that best understand this gift of life we have all been granted and how best to use our finite days well.

Two weeks ago, my parents visited us at home. They are seldom here and so the one night I was home with them, we chatted till the wee hours of the morning. As usual, the conversation revolved around the family: celebrating successes, empathising with challenges. As we talked, dad again recounted his childhood and how hard it was. Then it struck me. They should write it all down, and not just tales of the past but to draw broad applicable lessons from their lives. 

So, I gave mum and dad a new project, now that they have completed with distinction the construction of our house. I asked them to put in writing advice for their grandchildren, drawing from their life stories. I can readily think of quite a few:

- the importance of education (esp reading and the exposure to knowledge) above all else

- the value of hard work, and not to fear it

- the necessity to calculate but not to overdo it

- to rise again and again each time one falls

- the courage and confidence to do things, however embarrassing

I hope they can start and finish this. It'd be a nice gift from them to all of us for their golden anniversary.

On my part, I hope I have also gifted them what they find valuable. Yes, I've brought them on numerous holidays, with the Southern African Safari in 2015 being the highlight. But the vacation per se is not the aim. It's about bringing them to see God's creatures and places, spending time with them and setting a bit of an example of filial piety.