"Can't believe you are at that big shot event"

Verbatim quote from M, as I sent her a picture of me in Davos attending the World Economic Forum. Guess she knows a thing or two about this global gathering of elites. Yes, it's a talkfest. Yes, it can be a bonfire of vanities. But there is no doubt important ideas are being shared... and the delegates I hope are doing as much listening as they are talking and therefore formulating even more holistic solutions to the problems of the world today.

The theme this year is "shaping a common future of our fractured world". Indeed from income inequality, gender disparities, racism, nationalism, there are many fault lines and these have to be addressed.

This entry, though, is not about improving the state of the world. I have written about that elsewhere. This is more about what M so startlingly observed.

Though she knows what job I do, overhears the conference calls I have with my staff, and accompany me on privileged access to institutions like the Rhodes Trust in Oxford, she has yet to calibrate me to this level of world elite a-la Davos.

It gave me pause to reflect on how I got here. For a start, I was here 22 years ago, courtesy of an EDB officer who had to leave early and loaned D and I his apartment and his pass. Security was less tight then and with his pass, I was able to wander into the congress centre and bumped into the Palestinian Yasser Arafat (and was duly frisked by his security guard). In fact in that meeting, Arafat shared the stage with his Israel counterpart Shimon Peres in a session that truly inspired the world. But I was merely a spectator then. I had no part in understanding what happened, let alone making it happen. So, not one of them.

This year I am one of them. In fact there is still no peace between Palestine and Israel. The two leaders are now gone, Peres being tragically assassinated. The world is still fractured. The most exciting person I have met so far is Will.I.Am from Black Eyed Peas! 

But I am hoping to add my voice to those here on finding a solution. How did I get my voice heard so?

When I first moved to Singapore, for my studies back in 1985, the Singapore dream was a materialistic one. Goh Chok Tong called it the 5 C's: cash, card, condo, car and club. Attaining all of these meant one has arrived. The good life, Singapore style.

How did I get here?

Yes, I got the 5 C's. But more importantly, it's what I used to get here. Another 5 C's: competence, communication, confidence, commitment and carpe diem. In fact, if one possesses these 5 C's, any outcome is attainable, including being a big shot.

Competence... result of both god's grace and made real with effort

Communication... one's competence however will not be known if it is not properly communicated, verbally, in writing and in action; and in all it's guises (ranging from persuasion to inspiration to compulsion)

Commitment... what really adds power to the above combination of competence and communication is the ability to deeply commit to seeing something to fruition. It completes the loop and let's everyone know you live up to your word and your potential.

Confidence... the complete loop above produces this magical elixir of success. Nothing is as heady as knowing one can dream it and do it. When infused with this, one can take on anything.

Carpe diem... finally, one can always be helped with a bit of Lady Luck. Sometimes events transpire to place us in a position to show our competence, our communication, our commitment, our confidence. Seize it. Fully. Put all previous C's on display.

That's how I got here. And now you know. My wish is for M who uttered this profound statement to similarly imbibe these 5 C's and fulfill her own dreams.

Utopia 2.0

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them”, so said the great bard, William Shakespeare.

 

In today’s liberal world, it is increasingly difficult to claim greatness as a birthright. Even those born into political or business families cannot claim an inalienable right to be the heir.

 

Greatness is a state that one has to strive for. It requires a rare combination of intellect, ambition, determination. To achieve greatness, one needs ideas, and to believe deeply that these can change the world for the better, and then have the skill and will to convince others to make the change happen.

 

Over the year end period, we had our annual family vacation. This time in South England where we saw for the first time the Stonehenge. Stonehenge’s purpose remain a mystery today. It was truly an engineering feat and the monumental effort to construct it must signify its importance. Like many iconic buildings in the world today, Stonehenge in the ancient world (and in the modern too) must have impressed all who saw it and endowed on its owners/managers a sense of the extraordinary. This in turn must have given these owners/managers an additional store of political capital to lead.

 

Photo Credit: Chris Grayling

But then how did they lead? Did their society flourish (economically, socially, culturally)?

 

Throughout the trip, J shared his idea for a Utopian society founded on the good of mankind that lived beyond the material and economic dictates. I had the same notions (though much more undeveloped than his) when I was a teenager who had just left Malacca to Singapore and dreaming on bigger things to come.

 

As time passed, I became less idealistic. Like many other dreamers, I have succumbed to the pattern so eloquently expressed by David Lloyd George, “a young man who isn’t a socialist hasn’t got a heart; an old man who is a socialist hasn’t got a head”.

 

Then again, I lived through the most peaceful times the world (esp. in my part) has known for centuries. More people (in relative and of course absolute terms) have been brought out of poverty and into better health than ever before. The standard of living everywhere is higher where a rural villager in Borneo has access to water and power better than a Londoner in the 15^th century.

 

However, times are changing. Populations are declining. Age expectancy is rising. Technology is winning. Jobs are losing. Skill requirements are changing. Education is waning.

 

J is right. It is time to reinvent the state, and I wish him all the best in doing so. I only ask that he does this with an openness to other ideas, to develop his thoughts comprehensively so others may understand and then to use the right combination of charm, logic and argument to make them believe and then to act.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Depth

This is a homage to female species

It's a known fact they mature faster. While boys are still catching spiders, girls have blossomed into young women. Then as boys fall for the "hottest" girls, the really far sighted young women are already assessing which boy will become the best man to provide and care for her. Call it women's instincts but there is nothing to match their ability to peer beneath the surface and discern the true depth of the human soul.

In M, it is all true. She is petite. She is beautiful. But do not for one mistake her for a soft fragile flower. She is anything but.

She has taken hard knocks in her life, some courtesy of her cavalier dad who let go of the wheels and allowed her to fall off the bicycle and scrape her knees. Indeed, there was a time where every scar on her was a result of this "let's see if you can do it on your own" style of raising a kid. 

Then there are the knocks delivered by a loving Mom, who true to the Chinese maxim of "to beat is to love", did what she had to do to instill discipline in a wilful little girl.

As a 3 year old, M's strong will was already known to us. We had sent her to a nursery about a km from our apartment. Most of her classmates were also from the Neighbourhood, some as nearby as living next door. She was picked up my our helper, F who would wheel her home in the pram. Something got into the head of this 3 year old as she observed her friends walking home and she resolved to do the same. So one day, out of the blue , she proclaimed that she too would walk home. Now, 1000m on those little legs are like a marathon. Yet, she never wavered from her decision. Determination drove her on the last bit of the walk but on she went until she collapsed in a heap at our front door. 

On her own two feet and on her terms, M could take the knocks.

Some knocks are even burned out of good intentions and outcomes. Like not wanting to betray her loyalty to one team and therefore not getting into another. Like having an elder sibling who could and would accomplish much and set the benchmark. She took these all in her stride and developed admirable ways of coping.

When not part of a team's activity, she would make sure that her time is occupied just as meaningfully. Just last month, she travelled all by herself (by bus and plane) back to my hometown to spend the weekend with her grandparents (who were overjoyed to have her all to themselves). In one trip, she showed independence, toughness and love.

Let me conclude this happy note about M where I started. A woman knows what lies beneath because they too have immense depth underneath their soft exterior. For M, under those soft waves lie a character as great as the alps.

And it is to this character that I dedicate this piece of art aptly titled sub-alpine (which she herself felt a kinship to last weekend).

 I have no doubt she will continue to find strength in the peaks and valleys of her soul that will continue to keep her happy.

Note to my 20 year old self

I am writing to you from the future.

You are an ambitious young man, full of life and passion, and as you contemplate what will come, allow me to share with you what roads to take as well as what not to do.

Through your own effort you have got yourself into a good university and are surrounded by new friends. Yes, you still miss the friends you made in junior college and even some of the ones in high school. But you are never one for dwelling in the past. However good that was, we have to live in the present and move on to the future.

My first advice to you is to continue to enjoy your days on campus. You have already taken the opportunity to do things you dreamed about: play in a rock band, play rugby and various other sports you enjoyed in the Varsity Games. The university is like a microcosm of the world. Everything that is out there in the “real world” is available (in safe mode) on campus. So, the learning you acquire in University is not just about your course of study but also about life, including how to be responsible for yourself and others. Be curious and try as many of these activities esp. those you are passionate about. For instance, you may not know this yet but the musical you wrote and produced will be performed to a sold out crowd! I will tell you now that these activities will play a big role in job interviews to come as prospective employers find these accomplishments different and exciting.

Speaking of jobs, your hunt for one will not be easy. You will apply to many. Some will reject you outright. Quite a few good companies will call you up for interviews but the only job offer you will get is with S. The learning here is that beyond your CV which is what the companies base their call-up on,  in these interviews they are looking for real examples that you are interested in them and the world, that you can apply your knowledge, that you can get things done (either as an individual and more importantly as a team player). In other words, go to these interviews and express yourself fully, with purpose, honour and courage. The people you will meet do not know you and unless you express yourself, they will not know you enough to give you a job.

When on your job, take a longer term perspective. Market conditions, political circumstances and the global environment are in a flux. Nothing will ever go exactly as planned. So, there will be ups and downs. But so long as you understand what you are aiming to accomplish (for yourself and for the company) in the long run, say 5 years out, even a failure in near term will be acceptable. Especially if you turn it into a learning and adapt the journey forward. No experience is ever wasted. In the words of Winston Churchill, “failure is never fatal; success is never final.” Indeed, if given a choice to choose amongst recruits in the future, I would always pick the one who has failed and rise and rise again each time. Indeed, your lessons from the successes and failures in S and then in A will be the key reasons why you got into B and rose quickly therafter.

Fourthly, a whole range of disappointments will befall you. It is inevitable because there are too many variables outside our control. Consequently, how you progress in the organization may seem underwhelming. Let me forewarn you that you will be first assigned to Bangkok, and then Ho Chi Minh City, while your colleagues get Hong Kong, London postings. The miracle of this is being posted to these Southeast Asian stations will serve you far better in the future. When in the running to be the Head of Southeast Asia for B, your knowledge of these markets will be of obvious importance. In other words, all the dots in your life will and do connect. You will however not see it as such, in the moment, when you are looking forward. We can only see it connecting looking backwards. So, have faith, my young friend that divine intervention is always at work. This doesn’t mean you can sit back and do nothing. My tips above need to be acted upon and you can then be assured God will take care of the rest.

Which brings me to my final point of advice in this letter. Around this time, you will meet the love of your life. Of all the divine interventions, this is the most uplifting one. She will catch your eye with her bohemian style: short hair, wooden ear rings and earth tone clothes. You will see her in the canteen. You will see her in the computer lab. You will write to her (with inspirations from the heart) and leave these poems on her bulletin board anonymously. You will pluck up the courage to reveal yourself. You will discover a shared interest in photography. You go on a “date” cum photography field trip with her. You will prepare a mix tape for her. The two of you will fall in love. She will embrace the faith and indeed be the rock at home in years to come. By the way, I should add that this is not your first love. I know you have already been disappointed romantically before. This one, however, is forever. God will make sure of it. Have faith.

 

Writing, privately and publicly

My good friend, P, just celebrated his 49th birthday and decided to start blogging. An appropriate juncture to do so: to reflect and express one's thoughts as the half century mark nears.

My half century mark is even nearer than P's. That said, I started this blog more than three years ago so have had the chance to record some of my thoughts already.

My blog though is relatively private or as private as postings on the internet can be. I have also written publicly, most notably for a cutting edge business paper, The Edge. Most recently, I wrote about my belief in my home country. They say the pen is mightier than the sword and my words are aimed at those who can make a difference.

Photo credit: Montblanc

The lighthouse moment is actually when I was 42. I had a year long column, and called it, "42". Here are the collection of essays featured there, and then some.

Jan 25th, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/can-we-regain-our-competitive-edge

Feb 22nd, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/man-street-can-malaysians-think

Mar 1st, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/what-malaysia%E2%80%99s-true-sustainable-source-advantage

Apr 5th, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/are-we-afraid-breaking

May 3rd, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/how-will-party-end

Jun 7th, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/what-our-culture

Jul 5th, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/can-we-make-it-happen

Aug 2nd, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/have-we-lost-faith

Sep 4th, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/do-we-have-courage

Oct 4th, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/do-we-have-plan

Nov 1st, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/so-now-how

Dec 6th, 2010
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/who-42

Mar 7, 2011
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/learning-us

May 21, 2012
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/we-need-responsible-economic-leadership-even-more-0

Jul 9, 2012
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/lessons-penalty-shootouts-0

Dec 24, 2012
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/and-we-lived-happily-ever-after

Nov 17, 2014
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/special-report-asean-rising-preparing-integration

Sep 7, 2015
http://www.theedgemarkets.com/article/viewpoint-i-believe-malaysia

... as well as two other "life lesson" oriented interviews in Straits Times and The Peak.

June 2, 2013
https://sites.google.com/site/myhomeincyberspace/investment/08---real-life-stories/small-town-boy-learnt-to-dream-big

Mar 24, 2016
http://thepeak.com.my/interviews/a-model-of-management/

I will continue to write, because ideas, especially those well expressed, can have the power to change the world.

A New Chapter

When D returned to full time work earlier this year, I gifted her a fountain pen, with the inscription "writing new chapters". The plural description emerged naturally, but right now it seems so prescient. Because a couple of months after starting work, we are experiencing another wonderful new chapter.

We are right now with J, on a 28-hour (32 if you count door to door yet it didn't feel too long at all as we wanted to maximise our time with him in this) journey to USA, where he will spend the next 4 years studying. 20 and a half years ago, we were simply overjoyed to have him as our son, named after the grace of God. Indeed, there were some signs that were noted. The biggest influence, however, is D brought him up well - right from the Michelin baby start to the asthmatic sickly child phase to the officer and gentleman he now is - and guide him still. Even our domestic help, F, cared for him. He has good role models (including doting grandparents and uncles & aunts) and he is a natural leader with a kind soul. 

Photo credit: Happyologist via Pinterest

Like Nelson Mandela, he never settled for playing it small. As a young boy, he would generously offer our home to be the gathering place for his friends and our things to be the materials for their projects. As he got older, he gave them freely of his time, his strength, his knowledge and always his care.

Truth be told, that is a great accomplishment in one so young. I had mentioned somewhat whimsically that everyone should learn this wisdom by age 42 (the famous number that is the answer to Douglas Adams' question about life, universe and everything). That J understood this at half the time means that he is twice the man!

So here we are, accompanying this young man, a scholar, a soldier, a son to his new chapter. When he chose the course of study and the university, he had a heart to heart chat with me. He explained his purpose for why he chose the course. He explained his circumstances for why he chose the school. I had something else in mind but at the end of the day, I knew he made the right decisions. He has taken some of my paths, such as scouting, and having exceeded them he is right to now take his own. For he is not just his own man, he is a good man. 

 

It is not surprising many of his friends came to see him off: his classmates, his gang, his fellow commandos.

 

While in Durham, in the Duke Gardens, appropriately, we get to experience one of nature's wonders: an eclipse of the sun. So befitting for J who is about to embark on environmental studies and in due course to apply his knowledge for the benefit of more of us. Right now, we wish him well with all our hearts. (In fact, straight from my heart, I made an eclipse poster and inscribed it with the serenity prayer specially for him to change the world courageously, but also with wisdom to accept with serenity things he cannot change, such as Mother Earth's cycle including the eclipse)

 

Photo credit: Duke Event Calendar

As a wee lad, no more than ten, J liked the band Simple Plan and one of their anthemic songs, Welcome To My Life. Now living away from home in a foreign land, he is truly beginning a new chapter of his life, and we can only wish him much adventure, education and happiness in all the new things he will now experience. 

 

Photo credit: Musicnotes.com

There will be many new chapters, M going to university, J's graduation, significant others, our eventual retirements. For now, this one is deeply meaningful, even emotional.

Big decisions

How many of these have one taken over my lifetime? How many of these does one need to get right?

I was with my sis A last weekend. She had moved her family to Melbourne, very much for the sake of the kids and their education. I asked my 10 year old niece what she thought of the schooling system in Australia, and she felt that it was less academically inclined but more holistic.

I am now keenly exploring the implications from the digital disruption phenomenon to society. One of the danger spots is indeed that the education systems of today are not quite producing people who can thrive (ie being gainfully productive) tomorrow. Most tasks can and will be automated. Those who will do well in the future are those who can function beyond the tasks, ie make the connections within the system or better still design the systems. Education today therefore has to evolve, and produced less students who master tasks from rote learning but those who can creatively connect the dots.

So, my sis and her husband have made a big decision right. It's never easy to uproot a family, but as a minority ethnic group in a still not racially integrated country, the push factor is also high.

Then again, we come from a long line of migrants. Firstly being Hakkas where the very name of our ethnic group suggest we are not local to the place we were living in. My grandfather was a migrant.

photo credit: humanosphere.org

As for me, I have made several similar big decisions, including also moving my family to another country, as well as taking leaps of faith in career moves. However, the way one goes about making this decision differs. But for me and D, and even J and increasingly M, we use a decision matrix. It's our training from management consultancy or even our grounding in information science. Break the decision down into key parameters, weight each parameter and score the competing options.

This form of rational decision making does require one to be unemotional. And to me, that is the magic of making big decisions. It's all about trusting the thinking process.

Mind over the heart in this case. Over dinner last night, M asked me about loneliness and I repeated a a construct I have held dearly: that being alone and being lonely are completely different things. One can be lonely even when amongst friends and vice versa. The key is the active, even proactive intent. If spending time alone is what you'd like to do, then do it and you won't feel lonely. if you don't want to be alone, then mingle and that act would ensure you won't be lonely.

But doesn't all these just make us more like the AI-infused machines and robots that are threatening to disrupt us? Well, yes and no. And no in three respects: we think to overcome melodrama (and the fact that we are sentient makes us special), we think differentially on big vs small things (showing we know the difference and can see the long game) and finally we can think beyond the task (and we can see the big game).

Being able to out think the machines mean we can decide big and get them right every time!